Across Australia, we have a skewed view of what violence in intimate relationships actually looks like. What comes to mind is physical violence, or sexual violence – something that is much easier to categorise as “not okay”.
But that type of behaviour typically doesn’t appear out of thin air. It usually follows non-physical violence – insidious behaviour that breaks down a person’s boundaries, instincts and self-esteem to gain control over their independence, autonomy and judgement. This is also known as coercive control.
What is coercive control?
Coercive control is a pattern of ongoing, continuous abuse over time that’s often covert and difficult to identify. It’s used by a person to control, dominate and intimidate another person, usually an intimate partner.
Coercive control can describe non-physical abuse (psychological, emotional, financial, cultural, spiritual), as well as physical and sexual abuse (such as stealthing). It is a key element of family violence and violence against women and embodies the gendered drivers of men’s violence.
While coercive control may coincide with physical or sexual violence, it can be an extremely harmful feature of a violent relationship long before any physical violence takes place. It is not less serious when it is not physical.
This non-physical abuse is predominantly experienced by women and perpetrated by men – but it can happen in any kind of relationship. It can happen in intimate relationships, in families, between parents and children (and adult children and their older parents), and in other carer relationships.
Recognise the relationship red flags and the early warning signs of abuse
Coercive control is abusive behaviour that no one should have to live with. It can also be an indicator of more frequent and worsening physical and emotional abuse to come, and part of an answer to the too-common hypothetical: “Why didn’t she just leave?”.
Being able to recognise this abuse – at the start of a new relationship or during a long-term relationship, in our own lives or in our loved ones’ – is an important role in putting an end to all violence against women and family violence.
Learn more about these behaviours:
Legal approach to coercive control in Victoria
In Victoria, coercive control is currently addressed through our existing family violence laws. Currently, Victorian law does not explicitly criminalise coercive control as a separate behaviour. However, the Victorian Government has announced that they intend to change this. New laws were introduced to Parliament in August 2026 that propose to make coercive control a standalone criminal offence. If passed, these new laws will come into effect in 2028.
Learn more about coercive control in Victoria
- Victorian Government media release: Labor Protects Victim-Survivors With Landmark New Laws
- Proposed new Victorian legislation, explanatory memoranda and second reading speech