Everyone has the right to live free from violence, but people of all genders can experience family or intimate partner violence – including men.
The Victorian Royal Commission into Family Violence noted that while men can be victims of violence from a female partner, men and boys can also experience violence from parents, siblings, their adolescent or adult children, and other family members. The Commission showed that the highest risks to men and boys (including homicide) come from these family members, rather than female partners.
Data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics shows that 95% of all victims (regardless of gender) have experienced violence from a male perpetrator. Harmful gender norms that tell men they must be aggressive, dominant and controlling are a major contributor to violence experienced by men and boys from other men.
Women experience domestic, family and sexual violence at disproportionate rates, which is why Respect Victoria’s work focuses on preventing this violence. Advocating for the safety, equality and rights of women does not detract from the safety, equality and rights of men.
And because the violence men experience (from women and from other men) can also be linked to harmful gender norms, addressing the gendered drivers of men’s use of violence against women will help make everyone safer.
Women’s use of intimate partner violence against men
Men can experience intimate partner violence from women. This violence, however, is not typically used by men and women in the same way. Men’s use of violence is commonly driven by coercion and control, in a repeated and escalating way to exert power and cause fear, often resulting in injury or death.
But where women do cause injury to their partner, this is can often be in the context of self-defense; to keep themselves safe, rather than to control their partner. The term ‘women who use force’ is now widely used in the Victorian family violence sector to reflect these differences.
Other forms of non-physical violence against men from female partners can include:
- emotional or psychological abuse, like name-calling or constant criticism
- social isolation from family or friends
- coercive control, including gaslighting, or threatening to harm their partner, themselves, or someone else.
How harmful ideas about gender hurt men
Harmful ideas about gender that drive men’s use of violence against women also hurt men.
Not only do these harmful ideas (like that men should be tough, in control and use violence to get respect) result in men’s use of violence against other men and boys, they also have negative impacts on men’s health and wellbeing.
These include higher rates of depression, suicide, and risky behaviours like gambling and substance abuse. They also mean men are less likely to seek help and support.
Get support
If you’re a man who is experiencing violence, help is available.
If you are concerned for your safety, or in an emergency situation please call 000 for urgent police assistance.
If you need support or advice, reach out to a recommended support service.