Healthy relationships come in all different shapes and sizes. Long-term or dating, straight or queer. Some couples live together, some have open relationships, and others don't feel like labelling things.
But one thing all relationships have in common is the right to be treated with respect. This means spending time with a partner, romantic or otherwise, who makes you feel safe, valued, and equal.
We hear a lot about relationship ‘red flags’, but what about the good stuff? What are the signs you’re in something healthy?
Five relationship 'green flags' that everyone should look for
You communicate respectfully
Disagreements are a part of life and avoiding them doesn't mean you’re in a healthy relationship. Learning how to disagree and argue well is an important part of being in a relationship.
When you feel let down, misunderstood, or confused by a partner’s behaviour, can you talk about it in a calm and solution-oriented way? Do they actively listen to you, and you to them? Is the focus on repair rather than blame? These are all signs you have built a healthy and respectful dynamic.
You can be yourself around them
No performances, no ‘best behaviour’, no walking on eggshells. Just freedom to be yourself. When you feel safe to be yourself, you never have to ‘tone down’ your emotions, hide your quirks, or pretend to be someone else to feel loved.
They support you
In healthy relationships, your partner loves all facets of your personality and celebrates your uniqueness and authenticity. They support you. This includes your dreams, ambitions and hobbies.
In a healthy relationship, support means having each other's back and working together as a team. It's about compromising so you both get a chance to pursue your goals. It's noticing when your partner is feeling overwhelmed, down or not their usual self, and reminding them you're in this together.
This might mean offering practical help, like sharing household chores, or encouraging them to make time for self-care, such as exercise or hobbies. If your partner reminds you that you're a team and is there for you when you need support, that's a good sign.
They respect your boundaries
The rise of 'therapy speak’ including its misappropriation in relationships is having a moment, so it's essential to remember what boundaries are. Boundaries are guidelines that you and others agree on without being forced. For example, you might tell your partner you've had a big week at work and you're too tired to go to a party. Your partner might be disappointed that you can't join them, but you're safe and entitled to say what you need – in this case, rest.
Unhealthy boundaries can appear when you make a list of demands for your partner and then claim they're not respecting your boundaries just because they say no. This behaviour is toxic and manipulative. For instance, saying, "I don't care that you're tired, everyone is expecting you to be there, so you have to come," is not okay.
A good rule of thumb is to remind your partner that boundaries shouldn't require someone doing something they don't want to do. Instead, a boundary is about respecting a choice that's important to you. Talking openly about boundaries and respecting your partner's limits is a positive sign.
They understand the importance of you having a life outside of them
Life is busy, and the juggle is real. Safe, caring and respectful partners should encourage you to spend time with people who make you happy. This includes seeing friends, tending to family commitments and taking time or space alone for self-care when you need it.
Isolation tactics are a key component of abusive relationships. If you feel confident telling your partner that investing in all your relationships matters to you, that’s a green flag.
What are your MVP green flags?
We’ve chosen these five green flags as a starting point, but there are many more to consider. Let us know in the ‘was this page useful’ section below what green flags you think are most important and share this article with friends and family to start conversations about building healthy, safe and equal relationships.