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A violence-free Victoria.

It all starts with respect.

Jack's story

Portrait of Jack, a participant in What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be?
Jack, a What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be participant, takes a tea break on a worksite.
Jack, a What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be participant, hugs a workmate. They are on a building site.
Jack, a What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be participant, appears to be telling an amusing story, while on a building site.
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We talked to Jack about friends. Jack values friendships, especially those where he can be himself, be open and not feel like he has to hide parts of himself – this has been an important part of his journey in reflecting on what masculinity means to him.
We talked to Jack about friends. Jack values friendships, especially those where he can be himself, be open and not feel like he has to hide parts of himself – this has been an important part of his journey in reflecting on what masculinity means to him.
We talked to Jack about friends. Jack values friendships, especially those where he can be himself, be open and not feel like he has to hide parts of himself – this has been an important part of his journey in reflecting on what masculinity means to him.
We talked to Jack about friends. Jack values friendships, especially those where he can be himself, be open and not feel like he has to hide parts of himself – this has been an important part of his journey in reflecting on what masculinity means to him.

Video transcript

Video transcript

Video transcript

Video transcript

It's definitely a long process to remove yourself from a situation that you've sort of been in for a long time, to move to a healthier situation. I did have to recognise the people around me that were a positive influence.

27-year-old Jack is a tradie from Ballarat. He grew up in the footy club, where he saw lots of good role models in parents, coaches and older players. His mates are very important to him. As a young man, spending times with ‘the boys’ was a given. Weekends were for the boys and they would often go camping.

When Jack's girlfriend joined them on one of these trips and he showed her affection, his mates teased him, calling him “soft”. Trying to appear tougher, Jack started ignoring his girlfriend.

When she told Jack how hurt and disappointed she was, he realised he was changing who he was to impress his mates. 

Jack doesn’t want to hide parts of himself around his mates and has done a lot of thinking about his friendship group. 

For Jack, breaking down the walls to talk about emotions with mates has been hard, but he is finding his place with friends he can really relate to. He would tell his younger self to be honest about who he was and try to have conversations with mates rather than build up walls.

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Learn more about What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be?

Being a man can often mean feeling like you have to follow certain rules. When men support each other to decide for themselves "What kind of man do I want to be?", it can benefit you and everyone you care about.

See the campaign