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A violence-free Victoria.

It all starts with respect.

What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be?

There are a lot of 'rules' out there telling men how to be. Rules like – you have to be tough, you have to be the breadwinner, you can’t show fear or sadness, you always have to be in control. Sound familiar?

But you get to choose what masculinity means for you, and most men know it can be so much more than the 'rules', or what we see on a screen... even if they don't always talk about it.

So let's talk about it. We asked ordinary Victorian men what kind of men they want to be.

This is what they told us...

Portrait of Fui, a What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be? participant

Fui's story

We sat with Fui and talked fatherhood. Fui loves being a dad and has a close relationship with his kids. For Fui, being a ‘strong dad’ is about love, care and connection.
Portrait of Jack, a participant in What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be?

Jack's story

We talked to Jack about friends. Jack values friendships, especially those where he can be himself, be open and not feel like he has to hide parts of himself – this has been an important part of his journey in reflecting on what masculinity means to him.
Portrait of Mawout, a participant in What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be?

Mawout's story

Working with young men, Mawout knows how online spaces and influencers can impact their mindsets –the drive to be richer, stronger. For Mawout, life is bigger than those pressures, it’s about the impact you leave behind.
Portrait of Pharrell, a participant in What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be?

Pharrell's story

We sat down with Pharrell. He wants all men – no matter their age, background or circumstances – to know that there are so many forms of masculinity and choosing the right ones for you is about showing yourself kindness and compassion.
Portrait of Ben, a participant in What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be?

Ben's story

Ben told us what it’s like in the gaming world, especially for women and girls. He spoke to us about needing to think critically about what’s online, and not having a win/lose mindset. For Ben, losing is an opportunity to grow – online or IRL.
Portrait of Adam, a participant in What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be?

Adam's story

Family, fatherhood and community are important to Adam. As a first time Dad, Adam shared with us his hopes for how he and his partner will raise their son to look beyond gender roles.
Portrait of Jefferson, a participant in What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be?

Jefferson's story

Jefferson spoke to us about the dangers of online hatred disguised as self-help, and the importance of being able to feel, understand and process emotions.
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Want to know more?

Looking for tools to start conversations with your club or group, or even just with your mates? We've collected some helpful links and resources to help you ask and answer the question: What kind of man do you want to be?

Need support?

The Men's Referral Service is the national counselling, information and referral service for men seeking to change their behaviour, operating  24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call 1300 766 491.  

MensLine Australia is a telephone and online counselling service for men with family and relationship concerns, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Call 1300 789 978.  

Lifeline is a national charity providing all Australians experiencing emotional distress with access to 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14.

Beyond Blue provides free telephone and online counselling services for everyone in Australia, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call 1 300 22 4636.

If you are experiencing violence, concerned for your safety, or in an emergency situation please call 000 for urgent police assistance.  If you need support or advice, reach out to a specialist family violence support service.