There are a lot of 'rules' out there telling men how to be. Rules like – you have to be tough, you have to be the breadwinner, you can’t show fear or sadness, you always have to be in control. Sound familiar?
Let's talk about it. We asked ordinary Victorian men what masculinity means to them? This is what they told us...
Hear more of their stories
Asking yourself what kind of man do you want to be?
More than ever, men are rethinking the rules of masculinity. What would it mean if you allowed yourself to let go of the pressures that aren’t serving you, and let yourself show up with kindness, compassion and empathy?
Major life events, like starting a new relationship, graduating, beginning your career, or becoming a parent can spark personal reflection. We've gathered resources on health, wellbeing, relationships, and becoming a parent to help you think about the kind of man you want to be.
- Rethinking the 'rules' of being a man: In this article, we start looking beyond the 'rules’ of masculinity, and ask: how do we really want to show up in our lives?
- How to take control of your feeds (and your headspace): In this article we share hacks to create a feed that supports who you truly want to be, not who you feel pressured to be.
- Masculinity and mates: how the pressure to follow the ‘rules’ is leaving us lonely and isolated: In this article, we explore male friendships. We talk about why some men hide who they are to fit in. We also look at unhealthy patterns and offer tips for repairing friendships. Plus, we share ways to stay open to new, healthy connections.
- Challenging the illusion of successful masculinity: In this article we talk about the rapidly evolving checklist for success and how it's discouraging men from living authentically.
- How harmful ideas about masculinity and men’s use of violence are connected: Learn how the pressures men face can be harmful for you and the people around you.
- InnerBoy App: This free 30-day program from the team at She Is Not Your Rehab supports you to change the scripts you’ve learned and break cycles of intergenerational trauma.
- The barbershop where men go to heal: See where She Is Not Your Rehab began in Matt Brown’s TED Talk.
- How can I help create a better online gaming community?: Tips from the eSafety Commission.
- That Guy: Frank conversations with men about choosing not to be “that guy”, from Police Scotland.
- The Line: What’s OK and what’s not when it comes to sex, dating and relationships.
- Ask a Mate: Advice from well-known mates, ready to answer your questions about relationships, gender identity and equality, consent, domestic and sexual violence.
Parents of younger children:
- Dads want in: How equal parenting strengthens families.
- Family Man: a research-backed hub of parenting strategies from Movember, designed with dads in mind.
- Talking to children about consent: Knowing about boundaries and body autonomy helps adults protect children against abuse and prepares them for a lifetime of respectful relationships.
- Why we keep talking about housework: Modelling respectful relationships at home.
- Raising sons to embrace healthy, positive masculinity: 9 tips from Plan International, The Men’s Project and Equimondo.
Parents of older children:
- Young men online: Information from the eSafety Commission understanding the online landscape young men experience, for better and for worse.
Working with men and boys
Check out these resources to help you start conversations with men and boys in your organisation or community about what kind of man they want to be.
More stories coming soon
We'll be sharing more stories from Victorian men soon. Please use the 'Was this useful' feedback form located on the bottom of this page to let us know which stories you connected with and what you would like to see more of. Get the latest campaign news delivered straight to your inbox by subscribing to our mailing list.
Need support?
The Men's Referral Service is the national counselling, information and referral service for men seeking to change their behaviour, operating 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call 1300 766 491.
MensLine Australia is a telephone and online counselling service for men with family and relationship concerns, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Call 1300 789 978.
Lifeline is a national charity providing all Australians experiencing emotional distress with access to 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14.
Beyond Blue provides free telephone and online counselling services for everyone in Australia, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call 1 300 22 4636.
If you are experiencing violence, concerned for your safety, or in an emergency situation please call 000 for urgent police assistance. If you need support or advice, reach out to a specialist family violence support service.
