Jefferson's story

Those young men going through that time of feeling nothing but hating their bodies, I'd say sit down with yourself, listen to the emotions that you're feeling, feel those emotions, question why you're feeling those emotions and then talk to someone about it.

25-year-old Jefferson is from Kensington. His parents immigrated to Australia from Vietnam and worked hard to build a safe and happy life here for their children. They expected the same hard work and diligence from their children. 

Jefferson’s dad was funny and took his responsibilities to his family seriously. He says his father seemed to express himself through his humour.

Jefferson has lots of female cousins so growing up he was used to being around women, but when he started school, friendships between boys and girls became less common. As a teenager, Jefferson fell down an online rabbit hole where men preached hate in the form of help – an incel community. 

It wasn't until Jefferson's sister spoke to him about the dangerous path he was on that he realised this online community was not good for him or those around him. 

He credits his sister with saving him from a dangerous algorithm and helping him focus on getting comfortable with who he really is. He’s brought that growth into his relationships with women, including the importance of processing emotions like anger or frustration in healthy ways.

Jefferson’s advice for young men who find themselves pulled to these online communities is to listen to their emotions, feel them, but also question why and ask yourself what’s really going on. Talk with people in your life who really know you and genuinely care for you – they’re the ones with your interests at heart.