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“男人有哭泣的权利。如果你感到情绪激动，不要压抑，对吧？”当被问及“你想成为什么样的男人？( What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be? )”时， Allan这样分享道。Respect Victoria采访了 Allan，他反思了倾听和与男性展开对话的重要性。
以下是与 Allan的对话
我叫 Allan，是一名中学教师。闲暇时，我喜欢园艺、看电影和旅行。我去过许多国家和地区，喜欢在旅途中了解其他文化和不同的生活方式。
对你来说，做一个男人意味着什么？
男人也许常被要求必须坚强，但我认为，真正的成熟与担当，体现在他是否愿意关注并理解伴侣、母亲、姐妹等女性的细节与感受。
男人应该能够自由地表达自己的观点，勇敢地做自己，关心和尊重他人，尤其是女性亲属。尊重意味着积极倾听；倾听他人表明你富有同情心，并能为身边的女性带来安全感。
你认为积极倾听的重要性体现在哪里？
我们倾听是为了表达关心，为了让别人感到被重视。在教学中，我越是倾听，就越能激发学生表达观点。先倾听再发表意见，这表明我们在对话中是平等的。善于倾听适用于生活的方方面面，不仅限于家庭，也适用于整个社会。
社会对男子气概的期望如何影响男性的沟通方式？
长期以来，人们更强调男人的力量、责任和家庭担当，而女人则常被期待成为倾听者，默默照顾家中的大小事务。幸运的是，这样的角色定位正在被重新审视，并逐步改变。
你觉得可以自由地做自己吗？
小时候，我很容易情绪化。有时候看电影会哭，我爸爸觉得是软弱的表现。他会说：“你哭什么？你又不是小女孩。”这让我感到非常羞愧。
我想，如果我以后有了孩子，我不会再那样哭了。
你对哭泣有什么看法？
男人也有哭泣的权利。如果你情绪激动，就不必强行压抑，对吧？你首先是一个人，没有人应该因为你流泪而嘲笑你。我们正在学会解放自己，勇敢做真实的自己。
在非常感人的时刻，一起哭泣可以表达同情和理解，这表明你并非冷酷无情。
你对如今的年轻男性有什么建议？他们正在探索世界，努力寻找自己应该成为什么样的男人。
成功并非取决于财富或成就。它意味着生活的热情，对他人的关心，成为你想成为的人。
尊重自己的前提就是尊重他人。
In Conversation with Allan: English translation
“Men have the right to cry. If you feel emotional, don't hold it right?” shares Allan when asked about What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be? Respect Victoria sat with Allan who reflects on the importance of listening and opening up conversation with men.
I’m Allan, I’m a secondary school teacher. In my spare time, I enjoy gardening, watching movies and travelling, I have travelled to many countries and regions and enjoy learning about other cultures and ways of life on my adventures.
What does being a man mean to you?
Men can be pressured to act tough, but I think real men should tune in to the details of their female partners, their mother, their sister.
Men should feel free to express their opinions, have the bravery to be themselves, and care for and respect others, especially their female relatives. Respect is about being an active listener; hearing people shows that you're sympathetic and creates security for the women in your life.
What do you think is so important to about active listening?
We listen to show that we care, to make people feel valued. In teaching, the more I listen, it opens the students up to explain their viewpoint. Listening first before stating my opinion, it’s a sign that we’re equal in conversation. To be a good listener is for every walk of life, not just family but society as well.
How do expectations around masculinity influence the way men communicate?
For men, the focus has been on strength, responsibility and managing family life. Women have always been good listeners because they're expected to look after all the small things in the family. That’s changing.
Do you feel free to be yourself?
As a kid, I got emotional easily. Sometimes I would cry watching movies and my dad saw that as weak. He'd say why are you crying? You are not a little girl. It made me feel really ashamed about myself.
I feel like if I have children, later on, I wouldn't do that.
What are your thoughts on crying?
Men have the right to cry. If you feel emotional, don't hold it right? You’re a human being, no one will laugh at you for crying. We're freeing ourselves, to be ourselves.
On very emotional occasions, crying together offers sympathy and understanding, it shows that you're not heartless.
What advice do you have for young men today as they navigate the world and try to work out what type of man they're meant to be?
Success isn't about wealth or a list of achievements. It's having passion, caring for others, becoming someone you want to be.
Respecting people is the basic for respecting yourself.
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